Poem

I never knew

I thought I’d seen so much
Until I saw it all

Used my youth as a crutch
So my ignorance would not fall

I never knew

I never knew

I never knew the world
In its endless, infinite sprawl.

Or 
So
 I 
thought...

I knew everything, deep down
Memories receded

I’d seen life and love and truth
In little moments, long retreated

I never knew the dawn

I never knew the night

I never knew the happiness 
Of watching stars fade into sunlight

But 
Now 
I 
Know…

Swimming beneath the velvety black
Dusk gives way to day

Glimmering, burning, glistening jewels
Fade in the sun’s first ray

I never knew the dark
I never knew the light

I never knew the sunrise
Until it made my follies die away

And 
I 
Could 
See…

Years are not what all men need
To triumph in wisdom and relish in life

For I am so young, and still
 I’ve seen my share of victory and strife

I collected little moments

I cached them in my thoughts

I knew all that I needed to know
An epiphany cut through me like a knife:

Daybreak
Dawn
Twilight
Night…

All joy and wisdom and meaning comes from 
These shared experiences
Of the human life
Beautiful galaxy viewed from Earth
Poem

I don’t know

“We are what we believe we are.” -C.S Lewis
What is the meaning of life?
I don’t know.
Maybe happiness
Love
 Success
Charity
Giving and taking
Making something new
Watching ideas grow
Take shape
Transcend space 
and time
 and your own life...
I don’t know:
I’m much too young, aren’t I?

Why are we here?
I don’t know. 
Maybe for a purpose
Because life
 Evolved us into being
A higher power
A special role
A calling
A perfect passion designed for us
Another worker bee in a
Grand colony
Just to be 
and live 
and exist....
I don’t know:
I’m much too inexperienced, aren’t I?

Who are you to give advice?
I don’t know.
Maybe just a girl
Behind a computer
Typing the thoughts in her brain
Building worlds and characters into existence
Right there
On a little webpage
With a blinking cursor
Scrambling for inspiration
Wracking my brain
Make haste
and write
and build…
I don’t know:
I’m much too inarticulate, aren’t I?

What do these questions have in common?
I don’t know.
Maybe they’re special 
Because everyone
In the whole wide world
Has a different answer to each
A passion
A calling
A reason to be,
Live
and work
and breathe…
I don’t know:
I’m much too young for this, aren’t I?

What is the meaning of life?
Maybe mine is
To be happy
To be a writer
To make haste
To create 
To love and to hate
To exist in this cacophony 
and wait
and simply be…
I think so.

Why are we here?
Maybe I am here
To be an archaeologist
A microbiologist
An author
A soldier
A researcher
Historian
Zoologist
Astronomer
To find my passion 
and explore the world
and be fearless…
I think so.

Who am I to give advice?
…
I do know:
I am just a girl.
A speck in the infinite river of time
One bright star in a never-ending sky
An author
A poet
A musician
I give my two cents on life
and live
and laugh, because...
I do know something.
I know myself.

I’m a girl
A speck
A star in a beautiful,
gem-studded sky
I’m unique
and wonderful
and meant for great things...
I know so.
Beautiful river flowing through a forest.
Poem

River of Life

Image from American Rivers

The only infinity on this Earth is the infinity of the questions without answers.”

-Autumn Brutyn

The River of Life

A poem by Autumn Brutyn

Sitting on the shore of the endless sea
A question came on the wind to me 

A question so rhetorical, so subjective, so sweet,
A question without an answer, forever incomplete

Impossible to answer, and yet, it lingered on my thoughts:

What can encompass life?
Life, so complex, so filled with strife!

A frog on the banks of a never-ending stream?
One speck of dust in the golden sunbeam?

No, not that, that’s not right.

Because what of the endlessly multiplying people?
Billions and billions, like rust spots on a steeple

The infinite wisdom in a dragonfly’s eye?
Each meaningless fleck of dirt in a rancid pigsty?

No, not that, that’s not right.

Because what of the young ones, the old, the bold?
Each spirit, so unique, with hearts warm and cold…

Can nothing emulate it, that tumultuous diversity?
The way the Earth rumbles and shakes, all topsity-turvety? 

Maybe, maybe not, but one thing comes close.

Because time will never cease to fly,
I thought, just like the river chugging by

The river, with its millions of glistening bubbles
Bobbing and weaving, like children, no troubles

The river, highway to the sea, comes close

Because it ebbs and flows, angry before it calms,
Has droughts and floods and never-ending qualms

Pebbles shift and change, silt travels downstream
Just like humanity, restless in their dream

That river, roiling and bubbling, comes close

Because...

Life is imperfect

Life is diverse

Troubled

Beautiful

Never a curse

Life is drowning

Life is sweet

Hopeful

Dismal

Take it from me:

There never has been, and never will be, one true answer
Life’s secrets are elusive, captivating, like a masked dancer

But if you seek an answer, please, hear my plea:
Turn to the river! The water! The path to the sea

Because the river, 
To the sea
Comes close