Class begins with droopy eyes Dreary skies A premonition of bleak surprise-- A day like the one before Words etched in bold chalk letter Tighten the fetter Students, uncaring as a crotchety old debtor-- Yawn and feign interest for life The lecture sets forth with little preamble An angst-dashed scramble But one spark catches like wildfire to a bramble-- She raises her head from the desk Terms that mean nothing begin to ignite Molten and bright Phrases smolder, flash like a floodlight-- Peppery heat fills her chest Fingers extend from an aching fist A bewildering twist Torches blazing through the frosty mist-- Passion beckoned forth from the soul Cached away in a drab, dusty room Knowledge heirloom Hidden from her world by a festering gloom-- Urges her on through the fog Erudition in a dose like a drug Goading tug Heart thundering like current in an active spark plug-- She wrenches her calling from the chalk Students snore through the lesson then leave Ever naive But she hangs suspended without reprieve-- She has found the ultimate raison d’être Interest piqued like never before, Spiral and soar! ; One concept that brings her potential ashore-- A buzz she will chase for the rest of her life
It’s such a strange concept to ponder Yet when my thoughts do wander I often find myself thinking Of the lives of those from yonder Through time and space my mind does leap Through valleys and mountains in an arcing sweep And I think of my ancestors Back in the past, through years so long and deep I see through their eyes I see what they have seen, I fantasize That all these visions in my head Aren’t just delusions that I actualize Forests, endless, green and earthy Loves and losses, their unique journey I’ll never know if these visions hold any truth at all How can I discover if my fantasies are seaworthy? I lie awake, perturbed and restless These endless qualms always leave me breathless Because I will never know And though my own time is so very precious, I return time and time again, to them Those from which all of history will stem Our ancestors, our past, our blood And through all this mayhem A truth emerges, a few things that are certain Life is a grand stage in which we stand behind the curtain And once it comes time to play our part We play our role as we choose, putting our worth in And those before us did exactly the same They gazed at the moon through a slightly different frame Watched our sun chart a course through the sky And did all this under their own stage name It’s such a strange concept to ponder Yet when my thoughts do wander I often find myself thinking Of the lives of those from yonder My ancestors Your ancestors Our ancestors
Tired never felt so real My arms are made of lead and steel I wake before the sun can rise And fight off sleep with droopy eyes Tired, that word doesn’t seem quite right Exhausted lying awake at night Grinning faces and cheery greetings My mind slips as it suffers these beatings Rest my head on stone and sigh The world is singing a lullaby Soft and sweet, an enticing dulcet I strain not to listen, not just yet At last the doors of home swing open A single chance to put my hope in That I could nap for just a minute Glance through the window; the sky is sunlit Regal cat and dopey dog Dozing and dreaming like a log My mind is so weighted, and yet My thoughts spin in an endless roulette Blissful sleep evades me once again Twitter to the next task like a jittery wren Clock ticks on and still I keep This encroaching fatigue, ever to creep Invade my spirit and dull my grin Hold out hope that tonight I win A precious hour without any toil So my soul can rest from the heat of the broil When the moon seizes the sky And overhead constellations lie I can listen to that lullaby I lust for Drift ever closer to that deep, dark shore Tired never felt so real My arms are made of lead and steel I woke before the sun could rise Now I welcome sleep with grateful eyes
I thought I’d seen so much Until I saw it all Used my youth as a crutch So my ignorance would not fall I never knew I never knew I never knew the world In its endless, infinite sprawl. Or So I thought... I knew everything, deep down Memories receded I’d seen life and love and truth In little moments, long retreated I never knew the dawn I never knew the night I never knew the happiness Of watching stars fade into sunlight But Now I Know… Swimming beneath the velvety black Dusk gives way to day Glimmering, burning, glistening jewels Fade in the sun’s first ray I never knew the dark I never knew the light I never knew the sunrise Until it made my follies die away And I Could See… Years are not what all men need To triumph in wisdom and relish in life For I am so young, and still I’ve seen my share of victory and strife I collected little moments I cached them in my thoughts I knew all that I needed to know An epiphany cut through me like a knife: Daybreak Dawn Twilight Night… All joy and wisdom and meaning comes from These shared experiences Of the human life
What is the meaning of life? I don’t know. Maybe happiness Love Success Charity Giving and taking Making something new Watching ideas grow Take shape Transcend space and time and your own life... I don’t know: I’m much too young, aren’t I? Why are we here? I don’t know. Maybe for a purpose Because life Evolved us into being A higher power A special role A calling A perfect passion designed for us Another worker bee in a Grand colony Just to be and live and exist.... I don’t know: I’m much too inexperienced, aren’t I? Who are you to give advice? I don’t know. Maybe just a girl Behind a computer Typing the thoughts in her brain Building worlds and characters into existence Right there On a little webpage With a blinking cursor Scrambling for inspiration Wracking my brain Make haste and write and build… I don’t know: I’m much too inarticulate, aren’t I? What do these questions have in common? I don’t know. Maybe they’re special Because everyone In the whole wide world Has a different answer to each A passion A calling A reason to be, Live and work and breathe… I don’t know: I’m much too young for this, aren’t I? What is the meaning of life? Maybe mine is To be happy To be a writer To make haste To create To love and to hate To exist in this cacophony and wait and simply be… I think so. Why are we here? Maybe I am here To be an archaeologist A microbiologist An author A soldier A researcher Historian Zoologist Astronomer To find my passion and explore the world and be fearless… I think so. Who am I to give advice? … I do know: I am just a girl. A speck in the infinite river of time One bright star in a never-ending sky An author A poet A musician I give my two cents on life and live and laugh, because... I do know something. I know myself. I’m a girl A speck A star in a beautiful, gem-studded sky I’m unique and wonderful and meant for great things... I know so.
The only infinity on this Earth is the infinity of the questions without answers.”-Autumn Brutyn
The River of Life
A poem by Autumn Brutyn
Sitting on the shore of the endless sea A question came on the wind to me A question so rhetorical, so subjective, so sweet, A question without an answer, forever incomplete Impossible to answer, and yet, it lingered on my thoughts: What can encompass life? Life, so complex, so filled with strife! A frog on the banks of a never-ending stream? One speck of dust in the golden sunbeam? No, not that, that’s not right. Because what of the endlessly multiplying people? Billions and billions, like rust spots on a steeple The infinite wisdom in a dragonfly’s eye? Each meaningless fleck of dirt in a rancid pigsty? No, not that, that’s not right. Because what of the young ones, the old, the bold? Each spirit, so unique, with hearts warm and cold… Can nothing emulate it, that tumultuous diversity? The way the Earth rumbles and shakes, all topsity-turvety? Maybe, maybe not, but one thing comes close. Because time will never cease to fly, I thought, just like the river chugging by The river, with its millions of glistening bubbles Bobbing and weaving, like children, no troubles The river, highway to the sea, comes close Because it ebbs and flows, angry before it calms, Has droughts and floods and never-ending qualms Pebbles shift and change, silt travels downstream Just like humanity, restless in their dream That river, roiling and bubbling, comes close Because... Life is imperfect Life is diverse Troubled Beautiful Never a curse Life is drowning Life is sweet Hopeful Dismal Take it from me: There never has been, and never will be, one true answer Life’s secrets are elusive, captivating, like a masked dancer But if you seek an answer, please, hear my plea: Turn to the river! The water! The path to the sea Because the river, To the sea Comes close
Beautiful dog Dopey smile Lolling tongue Wagging tail Candy dog Chocolate fur Caramel eyes Taffy tongue Feisty dog Wrecked tennis ball Rooted-up yard Snappy bark Clumsy dog Strewn-out toys Bulky hips Awkward paws Quick dog Pulsing heart Sleek build Lightning legs Lazy dog Sleepy evenings Sluggish movements Snoring nose Hungry dog Expectant beg Dripping drool Shredded bone Same dog In every view You can’t have just one Because all their love is for you
Midnight lily blooms Flowers lustrous, blooming, sweet Shy, afraid of day Beautiful blossom Afraid to show her glory What are you scared of? Frightened of the sun? Scared your beauty will outshine The red daylight rose? Midnight lily, shine! Dare to bloom, under the sun... Show the world your worth Petal, blossom wide Throw your colors to the sky Life is yours to take Dwelling in moonlight Hide away beneath the stars Tantalizing grace Midnight lily blooms Ready to show her beauty Envy of the rose Pride of the garden Beautiful both night and day Midnight lily shines
Cursor blinking furiously against the white.
I’ve been at this all night.
The unfilled space is ominously bright.
Not enough ideas to start this out right!
Tick… tock… tick… tock.
Deadline drawing nearer:
Thoughts aren’t any clearer.
Tick… tock… tick… tock.
A bell chimes the hour, I’m weak in the knees.
I stare at nothingness, slamming the keys.
The clock insists, but I’m trapped in writer’s block.
I can’t seem to think.
Every word or phrase I’ve ever heard, entirely down the sink.
Blinking black line.
Begging for some words to write, I have to decline.
Write it down!
The sheet insists, but my brain is out of town.
Time is marching on,
Grades and fans will be up and gone.
Inspiration is sparse.
How can I be a writer if I can’t write for arse?
Push those keys!
The screen insists, but my ideas are on the breeze.
Let’s turn this spark into a flame!
At least I’m in a better state…
The people insist, but I’m tired to my core.
The blank page stares me down.
I feel like such a clown…
Titles evade me.
Should I take a break? Would that just be lazy?
The stress is mounting, I can’t take it anymore.
Backspace it all, too late.
The true treasure of man.
People search their lives for the key to it,
Desperately looking for some big secret.
But they will never find it, though they try with all their power.
The harder they search, the further it slips away,
Like grappling for soap in a hot shower,
Getting more out of reach with each futile day.
Why? It’s simple.
There is no real key.
Happiness lies in the little things.
The more you look for it, the less you see
Happiness is fuzzy socks on a cold day,
it is the warmth of the hearth on Christmas night.
Happiness is the wind in your hair as you whip down a
Rollercoaster, exhilarated and screaming with joy and fright.
Happiness is the beautiful, echoing note singing out of a french horn.
Sweet and pure, so dainty! Like a rose without a thorn.
You can feel it in the tide that laps against your toes,
You can smell it in the breeze that brings sea salt to your nose!
Happiness is inside jokes with a friend,
Laughter that never seems to end.
Happiness is the brilliant blue expanse of summer sky,
Laying on your back watching clouds drift by.
Happiness is the sugary, mouthwatering cookie dough
As you lick it from the spoon, laughing at the warning with a defiant glow.
Happiness is singing your heart out to a song,
Dancing around the room, feeling so free,
So deliriously joyful that your heart just might burst
As you hit the perfect note while you sing along.
That golden glow of happiness that we crave so dearly
Is found not by one specific thing,
But by all the little moments that clearly
Make life worth living.